—–In my previous blog I discussed the issue of significant others in court during divorce proceedings. There is another no-no in my opinion that I always insisted upon while on the bench. Children of all ages should not be involved in any of these proceedings through their parent’s insistence.
I often have heard a parent say “why as a parent can’t I let my child read all the pleadings, type them for me on the computer, look at all the photos and other documents; even write their own certification or letter to the Judge?” Even more, one or both parents want their children to come and sit in courtroom and even testify in the divorce proceedings.
Sadly, most parents knew the answers to these questions, but they didn’t want to face them. These divorcing parents knew deep down that it was a bad idea to directly involve their children in your divorce proceedings, but their animosity toward their spouse clouded their judgment.
Children are already in the middle being torn between their parents, trying to side with both and please both. This is obviously an impossible task been hurled upon these vulnerable kids. To add to their pain, confusion and turmoil the added pressure of having them be directly part of divorce litigation prompted and instigated by one parent dooms them to serious physical and mental health consequences.
So isn’t it after all obvious that children should be left out of the divorce proceedings except for their involvement in the counseling and therapy processes? This retired judge overwhelmingly says “no” when it comes to bringing and involving children into divorce litigation unnecessarily.
Judge Testa is retired from Family Court in Gloucester County and is “of counsel” at the renowned South Jersey family law firm of Adinolfi & Lieberman. The firm is one of the largest New Jersey firms focusing primarily on all areas of family law, including divorce, separation, alimony, child support, child custody, parenting time, DYFS issues, and special needs children. Located in Haddonfield, NJ, the attorneys of Adinolfi & Lieberman represent clients in communities throughout South Jersey such as Camden, Burlington, Gloucester, Cherry Hill, Mt. Laurel, Marlton, Moorestown, Haddon Heights, Voorhees, Audubon and Collingswood. Call to speak with Judge Testa or one of the firms other family law attorneys, call 856-428-8334 or contact the firm online.